Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Company You Keep

I've noticed that since I got pregnant some of our "friends" have fallen off the face of the earth! We don't ever hear from them or see them! It's so strange to me, but it's part of life I suppose! Now, granted that a good many of these friends are single, not married, no kids! So I guess it's to be expected a little! I mean... they are at the bars getting all crazy and we are at home, nesting and house renovating :)

I got this email this morning and it really hit home with me so I thought I would share! It has great wisdom and really made me think! I am constantly evaluating the company that I keep. I need/want friends that enrich my life, not bring me down! I have spoke before about how when I moved to GA I never really gained that many GOOD friends. I have a few but it's strange coming from a place where I had so many! So this email really made me thankful for the few I have!! :)

ENJOY!

It Is Better To Be Alone, Than In The Wrong Company.

Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you who you are.

If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.

A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad. The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.

Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.

An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.

As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are.

Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl.

Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream.

Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.

Consider This:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people.
Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how.
Not everyone has a right to speak into your life.
You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.
Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere.
With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it.
Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life.
Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.
Choose to rise...Don't settle...and go for your dreams!!! And most of all let God lead you in everything you do.
"Do not ask God to order your footsteps, if you are not willing to move your feet."


32 comments:

d.a.r. said...

It's always hard when friends fall off the radar, whatever the reason. At least you have a mature and positive outlook on it. It's definitely not something you can (usually) control!!

For what it's worth, I think you are pretty fabulous :)

tracypartyof4 said...

Love it! And you! AWE!

Aartee said...

I guess it happens as you move towards new and different things :) It's sad but your real friends will always be there!

Lucky in Love said...

This line really hit home for me:

As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are.

I moved away from home a few years ago and I am now living about 5 hours away from my family and my best friends. My BFF has not been very supportive about this move (um, to be with my husband!) and it always asking me when we are moving home. It's really hard.

Tracy's Porch said...

This was a great! And, just wait, you will find some awesome mommy friends! I have made some sweet friends through the activities I do with Ashley. And, they will be such a great support during mommyhood because they will be going through what you are going through.

Thanks for the big bloggy hug yesterday!

Happy Dash said...

wow, that couldn't have come at a better time - I'm having the same issue with friends disappearing or being fake since the wedding. thanks for posting - I have also shared it on my blog!

Jennifer said...

I can relate. When I moved to Memphis last year I had hardly any friends that still made the effort to talk with me.
5 months later when my husband and I married EVERYONE dropped off the face of the earth!! I don't get it at all. We are still the same people and our friends always hung out with both of us. It's weird.
I think I'm perpetually in search of a real BFF. *sigh*

Kaitlin said...

such an amazing e-mail that you good. I had the same thing when I settled down and moved away. I would rather have one true friend then a bunch of fake friends.

Great post today!

A Walk With The... said...

This is really, really wonderful and I needed it. Thank you so much. I love you!!

Kitty Cat said...

That's life, sadly. You may find that you separate for a while and then catch up again later when they're more in the space you are now. But true friends will last.

Kitty Cat said...

Actually I remember when my best friend got married and then fell pregnant, it was really hard for me to be "in it" with her, as I was still single and loving the single life, and kids were SO not on my agenda - it was kind of hard for me to relate. But somehow we weathered that, and we're still best friends, and now she is helping me through my pregnancy!

Amanda said...

Love it. I really needed to hear that. I have been through the same thing and I have often wonder about friends that we do not "hang out" with.

SassyEngineer said...

I have struggled with having close friends here in TX too. I have a few, but I had so many great friends from back home that it has been hard not having that here. At least we have each other - too bad we are a few hundred miles apart :(

Leslie said...

Isn't it difficult to make new friends in a new place? I can very much relate to the shock of going from lots of great friends to a few good ones. So hard! Thanks for sharing!

kimert said...

So very true! Great post. :)

Southern said...

Yep, you'll see as you start having children, your circle changes. It's just all part of life I guess. Then, when you little person starts to make his or her own friends, your circle changes again based on their parents. Sometimes it hurts when we lose touch with friends, but you'll make better, newer friends!

Megan said...

I really like that, I may have to send it to a few people in an e-mail. It's hard when friends move on, but maybe in a way--it's a good thing.

morewineplease said...

good stuff sister... and so true!

The Shabby Princess said...

I know how you feel (kind of). For me, I got married young, and so all my friends are still out partying it up and I'm at home making dinner and chatting with my husband. I'm happy with my choice, but, it is hard when you're in different places than your friends. That's why I love blogging so much! I feel like I've really gained some great friends and it's really helped me fill that void.

I love ya my dear! I'm so glad we're blog friends and hope to one day meet you "IRL".

Smile! Hugs to you!

Jenny.Lee said...

Very very good advice. It's hard to leave people behind (especially people that you thought were close) but usually necessary.

Dollface said...

I agree... real friends walk in when the rest of the world walks out, xxxooo

Sugar & Spice said...

This post has made me rethink a lot of things in my life..Thank you for posting :)

Lindsey said...

Great post! Such wise words, and though it's hard to lose friends we gain great ones too!=)

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

We noticed the same thing with friends when we started our family. I guess I am hopeful one day we will be at a similar phase in our life and start hanging out again like we used to.

That Fresh Feeling said...

thanks for sharing!

a H.I.T. said...

Friends of ours had the same thing happen to them (we became friendly with them post-baby). It's hard when someone close to you suddenly disappears - for whatever reason - but you seem to be handling it really well.

The Northerner said...

So true!

TexasLauren77 said...

This is SO true. Over the years, I've seen friends come and go, but the ones that have good values and faith in God are the ones that have always stuck around. Thanks for sharing! :)

Pumpkin said...

When I was still single and a lot of my friends got married and started having babies, they stopped inviting me over when they had get togethers (or even just to hang out like we did before they got married) or when they went out to dinner and only invited their other friends that were also married (or other friends that were at least in a relationship) to do those things. Also, they stopped really doing anything on a regular basis and it was just the two of them staying at home by themselves a lot too. So just out of curiosity, do you invite your single friends over to your house...even if you're not having a lot of people over - just to hang out, or to go out with you and your husband if you go out to dinner? If your friends (single or otherwise) invite you and your husband to do something, do you go more often than not? A lot of times, if someone invites you to do something and you don't go, after awhile, they just assume you won't go anyway, so they stop inviting. Just thought I would share another point of view....your single friends may be thinking the same thing about you that you're thinking about them, that you've dropped off the radar since you've gotten married and pregnant.

My name is Megan... said...

Great post!! hang in there :) your true friends will be there for you no matter what!

Tiffani said...

I hope you don't mind but I posed your email on my blog. It's crazy that you posted this because my best friend and I are going through this. She is brings me down and I hate to part ways because she really is sweet but I can't be around it any longer! Thank you! I truly believe this was my sign.

writing4612 said...

That's so true! My mom and church has always told me that you become like the people you hang around. The company you do keep is so important.

Some people want to drag you down with them. As you change, your friends will change. Some will stay but some won't. It's part of life. :)

Don't worry about not having tons of friends. I'd rather have a few close ones that I know I can count on than lots of aquaintances that barely know me.