Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Why do we connect?

Do you ever wonder why you connect so well with other bloggers or Twitter friends? Sometimes I sit back and wonder why I do?

I think people that don't understand blogging or Twitter think I might be weird or a freak for meeting up with people I have met online. But what they don't understand is that I have REAL relationships with these people I call friends. They are, no question, REAL friends.

Adam jokes with me sometimes that I have "imaginary friends." But the truth is... the girls that I talk with regularly through email, text, Twitter, Blogger, etc. are REAL friends. I don't try to explain it to my IRL friends because they don't blog.

Erin, Amy and I were discussing this during out meet up and one thing we have in common is we are all displaced. None of us are from the towns we currently live in. I moved to GA after graduating from Auburn in 2005. I knew NO ONE. Not one single person. That made it difficult to make friends. I am a VERY outgoing, talkative person but moving to a small town where everyone already knew each other and had their groups of friends, made it tough for me.

Don't get me wrong, I have several good girlfriends here who I love dearly. But each of them are from here and already have large groups of friends. I guess I just really feel like I have never "fit" in here anywhere. My roommate, before I got married, wasn't from here and she and I clung to each other. Then she moved to Nashville for 2 years and I got married. But she's back now, living only 30 minutes away.

Adam and I had a large group of friends here before we got married, most of them single. Then we got married and some fell off the radar. Then we had a baby and almost all of them did. I understand WHY it happened and am actually ok with it, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I have some best friends that live at "home" and I miss them so! I don't want you to think I am saying I don't have any friends... I do... Great ones. My point is that I have developed WONDERFUL friendships through blogging and Twitter and they are now some of my best friends.

I guess my question to you is... why do you think you bond so well with other bloggers/Twitter friends? Is it because you are like me? Or is it just easy to find people that share common interests with you online? I am just interested to hear why each of you bond with your friends you met through blogging, etc.

Sorry this post is all over the place...

24 comments:

Amanda said...

Im your friend :)

Dollface said...

I think it is a very good point. Sometimes we click with certain people and not others. I think thats why we are all made differently. But thats why we make such good friends and discard others. I think its totally normal! :) xxxooo

The Shabby Princess said...

I think that it can be easier to find a group of people online who share similar interests, circumstances, etc as you than it might be to find that "in real life". One of my dearest friends is, like me, a redhead runner and she lives in Florida. We "met" via our blogs. Sadly, I live in a huge city, and have yet to find a friend who shares that common bond as much as she and I do.
I know that blogging has introduced me to some amazing people and I'm so grateful for it!

Lauren Kelly said...

I have seriously met some of the greatest people through blogging and what blows my mind is that without this outlet our paths never would have crossed. Crazy! You just can’t get it unless you are a part of it!!

Susannah said...

Great topic! Let me tell you my thoughts: we are all OURSELVES online and on twitter-cause we are hidden behind our computers/phones. It makes it easier to forge relationships. And, since you are likely to never meet these people and they won't judge you, you can be real! I swear, I have met one of my BEST friends through blogging-we met once and have a date to meet again this summer. SHe and I talk about everything, and she has become closer to me than my real life friends. And if people don't blog, they definitely DON'T get it! I love my bloggy friends!

Karah said...

Love your post today. I also met one of my very best friends through blogging. I think you know her too. "Mrs. Stilettos" hehe. We actually bonded over baby clothes before she was ever pregnant. We are seriously twins. It is interesting how you bond with people over the internet but I truly call you and others my dear friends. I definitely don't try to explain it to my friends at home because they don't understand. I also find it interesting how random people want to follow me on twitter, then we end up being friends. For instance one girl started following me and come to find out we went to the same college. Blogging makes the world so much smaller. Love you girlfriend. xoxo :)

Melissa said...

You are saying what everyone else feels I think. I know that I have a great group of girlfriends here in Texas that have been friends for years, but we are on such different journeys in life at this time. So the blogging community helps me stay in touch with ladies who are interested in the same things as me and who are experiencing the same things I am now in my life. I love reading your blog!!!

Keshka said...

I definitely think so. I love scrapbooking and its a big part of my life, but my IRL friends dont really get it. So I love having online scrap friends!

Jesslee said...

I can totally relate to what you are saying. I moved to KC and only knew a few people who were really friends with my husband from when he did his residency here. I felt so alone until I found blogging and then one day I got a comment from Gwen (Handbag Obsessed) to ask if I'd like to meet -now she is one of my best friends. To be honest -I'm not the best blogger but I'm always open to meeting new people!

Perfectly Imperfect said...

I think it has to do with (at least initially) the anonymity you have online. I think most of us talk about things and are more open with our feelings online because we have the computer to hide behind. Therefore, we're reading each others most inner thoughts and getting to know each other on a real basis. I know I share more with my blog and Twitter friends than I do with most of my IRL friends. Plus I think you ladies rock!

Blue-Eyed Bride said...

I think it's because we can really choose who we want to be friends with and there is SO much disclosure in Twitter and Blogland. We know so much about each other from our posts and then the communication via Twitter, email, gchat, whatever, also breaks down more walls.

I can honestly say that my blog friends and Twitter friends are my best friends! And you're in that small group, my dear! Love you so!

Liz said...

I got displaced by Katrina and most of my friends still live back home. Meeting other people through blogs makes it a little easier to get through the day to day.

Amie said...

I can definitely relate to moving to a different city after graduating from college and not knowing anyone. I only knew my boyfriend. He grew up here and has family and a close group of friends, but I have to say that I definitely struggled in the friendship department when I first moved here. I have friends now, but nothing that I feel will last once I leave this stage of my life... Maybe I'll follow in your footsteps and start meeting people through blogging :)

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

Great topic! I think I've formed such strong friendships with bloggers I've met IRL bcz they know things about me that my friends IRL don't know...I blog details I keep private normally. That openness is a great bond.

Sara said...

I agree with Susannah and Erin - it's because we are more our 'true' selves online. I too moved to a city where I knew no one and I worked from home on top of that. VERY hard to make friends. And who has time to have all those shallow first time 'getting to know you' conversations over and over again, only to find out you really have nothing in common and have to start over again online? That's the beauty of blogs and Twitter. You can read & follow someone quietly for awhile and 'get to know them' through their writing. THEN you speak up and start to actually be friends. My online friends know more about my struggle with infertility than most of my IRL friends do.

My husband calls my online friends 'imaginary' friends too!

undomestic chica said...

I think through blogging, people can be their genuine self. They open themselves up warts and all.It's almost like blogging is "safe" and because of that you reallyget to know someone. It is difficult to find people "In real life" who are wiling to open themselves up so freely.

amy (metz) walker said...

I read this post a couple days ago and, as I explained to DW today about our recent threesome meet up "it's like if I could hand pick two of my closest friends out of the masses it would be these girls. It just works because they have similar thoughts, feelings, values, etc..." and he replied, "Um, well, technically you did!"

I'm so thankful to have met you and others thru this crazy hobby! Can't wait for the husbands to meet!

In this wonderful life... said...

love this post! I think it is just the fact we are able to learn so much about someone and we like them for who they are. We can feel their honesty through their posts and tweets. We know the type of person they are and that attracts us to want to be friends and have a relationship with them :) I love it!

kanishk said...

I also agree with you..I think that it can be easier to find a group of people online who share similar interests,
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Megan said...

So interesting about the "displaced" theory. I can relate to that so much. I started blogging when all my college friends moved away and I had nobody left in my college town. I love all of the friends I have made through blogging. I am so thankful for them and thankful for YOU!

sanjeet said...

Great topic!
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prashant said...

I think thats why we are all made differently. But thats why we make such good friends and discard others
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musicm said...

thankful to you i have such a good friend.

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